Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
then he tried to convert me to islam
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You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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