I'm drive I can fine osifer
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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