if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize