wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize