I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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