Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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