32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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