I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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