My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
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the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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