ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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