I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize