and you said cock pushups were impossible
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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