you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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