Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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