I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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