I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So apparently I’m into choking now
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