remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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