Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize