The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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