He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize