I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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