I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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