day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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