It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize