tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
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