there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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