O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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