; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who wears a wallet chain?!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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