This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize