peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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