i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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