Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Plan B is the new Plan A
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
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Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize