I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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