if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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