he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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