It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
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