i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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