i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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