Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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