someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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