I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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