Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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