If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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