His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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