Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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