i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize