if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize