im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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