Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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