i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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